and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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