32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
