Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
