i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize