uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
