we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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