He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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