the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
And then he peed in my hair
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