i just wanna soil my oats bro
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
