I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
