Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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