He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
