can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
