so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How naked do you want me to be?
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