Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
