youre lurking in front of me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
