omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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