I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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