bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
