He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize