He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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