i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
