Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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