Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
