Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
