Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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