Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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