Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
