no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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