But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
