you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
