i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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