...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize