Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
