any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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