So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
