Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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