I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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