I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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