watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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