Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
