careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize