I wish I could teleport
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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