Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize