Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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