Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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