I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
