Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
