She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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