You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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