I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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