Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize