She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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