so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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