i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
