So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
