Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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