Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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