you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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