did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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