Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
