Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
