I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
