He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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