Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
