I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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