yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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