dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
