I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
