is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
