I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
